Mom admitted to VA hospice yesterday

Hi Folks,

My apologies for not having kept this more up to date in the last few days. I hope you are ready for this long update.

So, Mom's situation is drastically worse than when I left only two weeks ago. You probably know that she became dehydrated and that her kidney started to shut down, when Dad had rushed her to the hospital last Thursday. I came back to Florida on Saturday, and Mom has had a hard time recognizing me or saying my name. She has been able to recognize me from time to time, but she goes in and out of mental clarity. Also she is having no more than a few sips of water or a few bites of food.
Today will be at least a week of her not eating or drinking. Additionally she can hardly walk right now and needs assistance getting to and from the restroom.

Because of her lack of mental clarity (apparently she tried to remove her IVs at one point) Dad yesterday enrolled her into the hospice wing at the West Palm Beach VA. It's a very nice private room and she was moved into it just last night around 7:30 pm. We left around 10 pm.

It is hard for us to tell if Mom's lack of appetite, she actually has been actively refusing food and drink, is a result of her cancer, or in fact a result of the morphine and/or pain from the radiation. We hope that she will heal up, and we discussed with the hospice doctor yesterday trying to switch her off of the morphine while still keeping her comfortable so she may regain her mental clarity. However, with any narcotic, it may impair her mental state. But we hope that if she comes back to herself we can encourage her to eat and drink again. However, this may also be the body simply shutting down, and if so, then this is part of the progression of her disease.

She was taken off of the IV drip she was on yesterday, that provided her with fluids and nutrients, and now she is simply going to receive pallative care. this is part of the condition of enrolling her in hospice. We are going to the hospital daily, and we will continue to encourage her to try to eat, to move, and to drink fluids. However, if we are unsuccessful with that, then the cancer will simply take her over while she is in the hospice care, and we will have run out of options. Then at least she will be under 24 hour care at the VA, and she will be in no pain (or as little as possible).

Michelle is coming from Italy today. She finally just told her work she had to go. From what I have gleaned from her, it was difficult for her to continue working anyway with the stress she has been under worrying about Mom. We pick her up at the airport tonight at almost midnight, and we will try to arrange for her to stay as close to Mom as possible, as is her request. They have a guest house at the VA, and we are hoping we can get her a room there. Luckily she can also stay overnight in Mom's room if she wants.

One of the most moving moments was when Mom found out that Michelle was coming back. Suddenly she exhibited more clarity than ever in the last two days since I was back, and she was in tears of happiness that Michelle was coming and the whole family would be together again. She was very deeply moved. It was basically a tear fest for us all. But you could tell her depth of love for Michelle and for having all of her family together again. A mom right up to the last, of course!

It's a very difficult time for us, as you can imagine. This week is fairly critical to determine if Mom will go back on solid food or not. If she does we have a chance of bringing her back from the brink. If not, then, it is what it is. We will all be at her side as much as possible to care for her, and that will be the best we can do. But if I get to 86, then I hope I am so lucky to have so much love around me. Not all of us are fortunate enough be so well cared for.

In the interim, before things become final, hope springs eternal and we continue to look for ways to help Mom recover and/or last with quality and dignity as much as possible. With one remaining weakened kidney chemotherapy is out, so we have become one of the families obsessed with alternative treatments and suppliments. However, if you know Dad, nothing too new there. :0)

Thank you again for all your caring thoughts, you have no idea how appreciated they are.

With all my love,

Bob

Comments

Lori said…
Thank you Bob for the update and we are sorry to hear she has made a turn for the worse. All of you continue to be in our prayers at night. Love, Lori & Paul